I have not written much lately because food and I have not been getting along very well. Since returning from Vietnam I've gained nearly 10 pounds. While I have maintained an 80% raw diet I have also eaten much more than my body requires. Like St. Paul I know what I should do but I don't do it. And that has kept me occupied for the last two months, trying for figure out why I allow myself to eat crap after eating so well for most of the day.
This is what I have discovered: Food is like a person whom we have a relationship with. We love food, we hate food, we avoid food, we crave food, we abuse food. And that is where I found myself this week. I am not in a good relationship with food. I'm a selfish partner. I take the good, but when it comes to being considerate and giving, I'm a taker all the way.
I don't treat food with respect. Yes, I have a nice healthy green smoothie for breakfast and a super superfood chocolate banana smoothie for lunch, but comes 4 or 5 o'clock and I'm an unfaithful husband who cheats with every sweet little (and big) tart that comes knocking at my door. I swear to God I lose all sense of rationality and nearly binge on whatever tasty is in the house. And if that isn't enough I'll drive down to the nearest Cumberland farms and buy a Butterfinger, the extra large size.
Yes, my personal relationship with food needs some couples counseling. I need to love food, not as a consuming lover, but as a kind and considerate guy. I need to treat food with respect and eat it thoughtfully and slowly. I need to keep enough awareness so that I can be grateful in the process. If I treated a woman the way I treat food she would be gone before I swallowed my next mouthful of M & M's.
I am beginning to realize that food is not my servant. If anything, I should be serving food. I should honor food for giving me life and health. I know that by abusing food we only bring disease and suffering to ourselves. I need to become a gentleman with food and not act like some wild lover.
It is not going to be easy to change my behavior, but at least I know now that I have not been a good partner and that is a start. The next step, and it's a big one, is to be with my food and take the time to eat it consciously, slowly, and with awareness. I know this sounds dumb, but I'm going to try to treat food with the respect she deserves. No more wolfing down dinner. There's going to be a lot more romance at the table. Maybe even a candle or two.
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4 comments:
Hi!
This is the first time I visit your blog, and I love your approach to raw foods, and food in general. I love how you describe the relationship that you have with the food, as a relationship with a women.
Thanks for sharing and for be very honest about your thoughts!
Blessings
Lau-raw =o)
I am also that unfaithful wife. Funny, I just wrote a post mentioning such conflicts a couple of days ago. Though, rather, I embrace the flaw. Growing up as an emotional, over-eating bin, I expect the long haul transition to take its time. I listen to my body now more than anything else. Whatever it wants, I give. To a certain extent. For every failure, it learns.
As a life-long emotional overeater myself one can relate! I'm in the process of self-nurturing / love which obviously means better food choices(moderate portions)and not beating myself up!
Thanks for tellin' it like it is!!!
xoxoxoxo
Love the blog. Just a thought...could your late-night bingeing be related to not getting enough calories during the day? I find that if I don't eat enough during the day, I come home from work and want to eat the furniture. Adding in a couple of healthy snacks in addition to the smoothies (and maybe more solid foods, so that your body has the experience of chewing & has to do some work digesting) might help?
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